Background and Beginning

Ok well, here goes.  I've wanted to journal for a while and pen and paper just seem so . . . labor intensive.  I have lots of thoughts running through my mind on a daily basis, probably more than the normal person as I tend to completely over think everything.  

I'm me, and as much as I want to say I don't care what people think, I feel we all have the innate desire to be accepted.  Ok, some days I care, some days I don't - but I'm always me.  I'm a very caring person, I feel for people I don't know, I cringe for people who make a mistake while singing or speaking, I hurt for other's losses, I cry if I see you crying, etc.  I'm also a very selfish person - I'm trying to change that.  I'm lazy - I'm trying to change that too.  I love to relax, read, sleep and spend time with family (even if we are just in the same room together each doing our own thing). 

I'm unmarried to the man who was my husband for 16 years.  Unmarried in that we are together after a brief hiatus (6 months) and divorce (totally my fault, I'm impatient) which was finalized for 13 days before we reconciled (see #2 below).

reconciledpast participle, past tense of rec·on·cile (Verb)

Verb:

Restore friendly relations between: "she wanted to be reconciled with her father". Cause to coexist in harmony; make or show to be compatible.

I have a step-son, daughter-in-law, grand-daughter and grand-son, and Danny & I have a son together, through who, I will reap every smart-alec, melodramatic and loving thing I ever did.  Oh yeah - and everything Danny did too - a little worried about that!

Reluctantly I was enrolled in a contest at work "THE BIG SQUEEZE".  By reluctantly I mean as I arrive at work and walk into the HR office with a bag of chocolate covered donuts the HR girl said OH HELL NO and put me on a team for the weight loss contest!  BUT at 41 (almost 42) I've decided that with all the ups and downs in my weight and the ups and downs in my desire for it to be different than what it is *and* all that changing the laziness thing - I am taking this to heart.  I started my get healthy journey and have had a few realizations along the way.  Yes, I want to loose the weight.  Yes, I want it to happen overnight!! 

I joined the gym and have started going in the mornings.  If you know me, you know that's a big deal.  I like my sleep - ALOT!  I've been going 3 - 4 times a week in the mornings and sometimes in the evenings on the days I didn't go in the morning, some days twice!  Last week I started the C25K program.  It's really hard, the heart rate is through the roof but I completed week one.  I've attempted ZUMBA and it's fun, I can do the feet and I'm guessing the rest will come eventually.  I'm sure it would make a great video for American's Funniest Videos and if anybody actually does tape it and win the money, I better get half!!